So far things are going well. I was very nervous for my first midwife appointment and I think it was mostly because its so different from my last 2 pregnancies and seeing an OB. The midwife was very sweet and extremely informative. She went over every detail of the state required testing and exactly what was being tested for. I remember asking the lab at the beginning of my last pregnancy what was being tested for and the lab tech drawing my blood either couldn't or wouldn't tell me. Its so nice to be openly given information about what is going on and given options to make the decisions for yourself. The MW had a little trouble finding the heartbeat, which made me nervous, but she got a different doppler and found it pretty quickly.
The second appointment was with the other midwife that I hadn't met yet. I'd been warned that she seems harsh and not to be put off by that. I can't say that I found her difficult at all, but she definitely seems more strict. She is absolutely very much naturally minded and did not approve of me getting antibiotics for strep throat. She gave me the impression that she thought it was an uneducated decision on my part and I just blindly accepted whatever the doctor suggested. It wasn't. I did my research on strep and the use of antibiotics for strep during pregnancy. Otherwise everything at the appointment went perfectly.
The only thing that I wish they did that they don't is ultrasounds. As a VBA2C patient I will be required to have one at 36 weeks to check the placenta position, but if I didn't have a scarred uterus they would require no ultrasound at all. There is an option to get an ultrasound after 19 weeks through the local college sonography program. I tried that, but after a month of calling and leaving messages I had not been able to get in touch with anyone. I local friend told me the name of a place just opening up and I looked into it. Its a 3D/4D ultrasound place and made an appointment with them.
My main issue is working on overcoming my own fears and doubts. I'm so terrified that something will go wrong, or some complication will arise and risk me out of the birth center and then I'll be stuck with an unsupportive OB. I've joined the ICAN Facebook group and a VBAC support group as well, but there are so many negative posts and stories about failed VBAC attempts or those who just change their minds. I wonder why some are even there because the seem to do nothing but push interventions and RCS. At this point I'm not there for extra research as I've done tons of that. I'm aware of the potential risks of all my options. I'm looking for positive birth stories with great outcomes to prepare my mind and keep myself thinking positively. I need to conquer my fears and replace the negative thoughts with positive thinking. I don't have a lot of support from the people around me and need to find a way to build myself up. That is where I am now. My next midwife appointment is in January and the 3D ultrasound is a few days after that.
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